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- Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at
all!
- Yelling at me for barking ... I'm a DOG, for cryin'
out loud!
- Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff
out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
- Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose ...
stop it!
- Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know
why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
- The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog!
Woooo hoooo -- what a proud moment for the top of the
food chain.
- Taking me to the vet for the "big snip", then
acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
- Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.
Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing
yet.
- Dog sweaters. Hello? Haven't you noticed the fur?
- How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both
know the truth; you're just jealous!
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